Thriver

it’s hard

trust me, i know

especially the beginning

you were going about your daily life

and you were striving to become all that you have wanted to become

the future was looking bright and finally working in your favor

you were thriving

then suddenly

the whole world comes crashing down

like you were high speed driving and hit a tree

your car spun around

three hundred and sixty degrees

and set you

on another path

a natural disaster that that left you blinded in the aftermath

left you to figure it all out on your own

a new start from scratch

that’s the nature of disease

unpredictable

episodes of panic breathing

your heart beating so fast

hands fluttering like butterflies

you act fast

but with nowhere to turn

hormones are raging, your body is all out of whack

you can’t think, you can’t eat, you can barely breathe

you can’t help but feel trapped

feeling

afraid

hopeless

and

alone

like you are the only one

you don’t feel or look the same as before

and that’s the most frustrating part

you want to tell someone

but instead bite your tongue

there’s an unforgiving war waging inside your body

that you just can’t seem to overcome

at least it seems like it right now

you look to the sky and wonder why and how?

the truth is those answers may never be found

not in the skies or in the pages of books

to soothe your eyes with sound enlightenment

and that’s ok

it’s all about outlook

you must believe that you will get through it eventually

you will get the help you need

you will get your life back on track

I promise

just know that

some days

are harder than others

some days

you will feel like crying

some days

will feel like you’re barely surviving

some days

you will feel like you’re dying

inside

some days

you’ll just want to stay in bed

all day

but this is your reality now

your “new normal”

some will understand

but most won’t

and that’s ok

you still must go on

and have the courage to face the day

stay strong

life doesn’t just stop in the face of malady

it’s time to dust off those shoes and put that power suit back on

walk into that office like nothing’s wrong

head held high

sit down in the chair

needle in vein

by now, you know the game

it’s just business as usual

go home

get sleep

feel better

take medicine

repeat

wake up in the morning

look into the mirror

 and tell yourself

you’re not a victim of this disease and you are more than just a survivor

in fact, you are none of those

you are better

than that

you’re a

thriver

 

Having a chronic disease show up in your life unexpectedly can dramatically alter the trajectory of your life. I was a recent college graduate with a bachelor’s degree in biomedical sciences, aiming to further my education after graduation when Graves Disease suddenly appeared in my life changing the entire plan. After living with the disease for 5 years, I have learned to manage through it and still find ways to pursue my dreams. They may just look a little different now. I wrote this piece to remind myself and others that we can’t predict or change what happens to us in life but we can control our outlook. Living with a chronic illness is difficult but a shift in perspective will help you to heal and move forward and hopefully find purpose in the process.